Childwickbury Wake

When 'Child of the Wind' finished playing Kit Whitehead came up to read out some of her memories of Toby.

"Toby was Toby - unique, a one off, uncomparable to anyone else I know. It was impossible not to love him for his honesty, generous spirit, spontaneity, energy, childlike qualities and addiction to fun. He was passionate about everything he did - in his relationships, his arguments, his love of music, film and art, and his love and committment to Joel and Hope.

If you spent time with Tobes, you knew it would be eventful. He could create a drama out of the smallest things and laughter in any situation. He was also one of the biggest flirts I've ever met and even in pain, he still flirted with all the nurses and anyone else who happened to be passing! he could brighten your day with his cheeky smile.

There were many things that drove me crazy about him -

- he hated missing out and always demanded that we did not discuss anything interesting while he was out of the room!

- whenever he arrived at my house, he emptied the contents of his bag -clothes, books, CD's everywhere so you could hardly see the floors. He was oblivious to the chaos he caused around him.

- he would never accept that I didn't really enjoy watching sci-fi and would make me sit through films and clips to the early hours of the morning. He was furious when I fell asleep in Bladerunner and made me watch the last half hour again.

But, it is for all the many good times that I will most remember him for -

- the endless role playing

- the many nights that we all spent lying around chatting until the early hours - Toby usually lying across all of us to ensure he had maximum attention

- the time when we all sang Elton John full blast in the car on our way to a canal boat holiday - 3 part harmonies et al!

- when we found an idyllic cafe by the canel on a sunny afternoon in Amsterdam which was playing Tom Waits, and Toby sang to me for over 2 hours...in his element.

- for all the lengthy discussions and debates

- and for his madness, laughter and his special all encompassing hugs.

His illness scarred him but never stopped him from being our Tobes. He proved to us all that he had more than 9 lives and I am so grateful for the time we were given to spend with him. In recent times that we spent together with Steve, it felt like we had the old Toby back. I will cherish these times and his friendship always."