Stories & Memories

"I think that even if there isn't another life after this one Toby has carved one out of the ether for himself. Such was his determination and creativity I have no problem whatsoever in believing that this is what he has done.

We often talked about films and referenced various films we had seen with our own lives. And the film that springs to mind for me now is the 1987 German film 'Wings of Desire'. For those of you who do not know the film it is a black and white film by Wim Wenders, who later directed 'Paris, Texas', and revolves around two main characters who just so happen to be angels. They are no ordinary angels in that they wear long coats, one adorns a pony tail and they sit around libraries and town centres all day listening to people's thoughts, fears and aspirations. One of them longs to be human and to taste what it is like to be alive and at the behest of the five senses.

This how I imagine Toby now, with his long coat and his large white wings, silently listening to the thoughts of the people around him and longing to be human again with all the attached frailties. Sometimes getting up to mischief but always enjoying and caring for the people around him.

Toby was one of those out of the ordinary people who made a mark on me when he was alive and even more so now that he has gone. There are things I've learnt from him and will go on learning from him and in those quiet moments that only seem to occur in busy places I'll have no problem knowing that he's near with wings aloft, eyebrow raised and a rye smile.

I had a search for the mix tape he made for me back in 1989 and I was heartened to see sound tracks and clips from 'Wings of Desire' on there.

I've attached one of the songs from the mix tape, (click on the button on the right), and I'd like to dedicate this song to my pal Toby."

Stuart Pilkington

(High Wycombe)